The Yes Guy

My main problem was with the phrasing of your descriptions. I caught at least 3 or 4 that began with "it was like" or some variation of that. To me, ...

And of course the military had to get their little bit, finding a way to make weapons better somehow. In this attempt, the SM12 was created, the Smart Missile, Version ...

On the other hand, I enjoyed the first few sentences more than any others from the story. It seemed as the story progressed, the writing style grew more rushed, more ...